Although you can’t control an abuser’s use of violence, you can plan how you will respond to future abusive or violent incidents, prepare for the possibility of an incident happening, and plan how get to safety. It is your decision if and when you tell others that you have being abused, or that you are still at risk. Friends, family, and coworkers can help with your safety plan if they are aware of the situation and want to help.
Ask yourself the following questions:
When you are in crisis, it is very difficult to look for assistance, make decisions and take care of yourself and others. An advocate, through your local domestic violence program, can help in many ways. S/he can identify resources in the community that otherwise may be unseen (like churches and individuals that will serve as support). S/he can start contact with a service provider and facilitate the process. S/he can also give support and encouragement. In these times where budgets are limited, having an “out of the box” perspective is important. It is very likely that there are others looking for what you are trying to find as well. For example, if you need childcare and you can’t find financial assistance, look for other parents that also need childcare and trade days watching each other’s children.
Some useful guidelines to finding support: